If you could change 3 things about football today....

Open now for discussion of all things Darlo!

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Geordie Quaker
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If you could change 3 things about football today....

Post by Geordie Quaker » Thu Oct 01, 2009 8:31 pm

.... what would they be?

Big or small, fundamental or trivial, serious or plain random. What would you do? Consider it the equivalent of hijacking Platini's email acount and being able to send out directives to anyone you wanted for an hour.

Some suggestions to start you off:

- Teams disqualified from one competition (e.g. Champions League) should not be able to enter the supposed inferior competition (e.g. UEFA Whatever it is) at a later stage. Not even sure if that still happens.

- That fooking awful rule where defenders can obstruct a forward when the ball is going out for a goal kick has to go.

- No Cup competition should be seeded in any way. Infact, go the whole hog and put Lichtenstein, Luxembourg, and other gash European outfits in one World Cup qualifying group and let one of them get through to the main event, so Brazil get to put 48 past them. That's entertainment.

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Re: If you could change 3 things about football today....

Post by Darlo_Pete » Thu Oct 01, 2009 8:38 pm

I'd remove the obscene wages that some players earn.

I'd turn the League structure upside down, meaning we'd be in the Premiership, poolie would be in the Championship & all the Premiership sides would be relegated to Division 2.

I'd remove automatic promotion to the Football League from the Conference.

Sorry I've thought of another one, I'd move Carlisle from the Football League to the Scottish Third division where they rightly belong. :D

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Re: If you could change 3 things about football today....

Post by TFDM » Thu Oct 01, 2009 8:41 pm

What a brilliant thread. The potential for nostalgia and moaning all together in one place. Brilliant. Right, lets get to it then:

Sky binned. Forever.

Champions League reverted back to the proper European Cup format. Only league winners get to be involved the rest can sod off. Oh and on that score revert the UEFA Cup back to what it was and bring back the Cup Winners Cup.

Away teams get half the gate receipts (or whatever it was) for regular league games.

*Edit*

I know its extra but I know GQ will let me have this one: Steve Claridge, deleted from every TV show.
Last edited by TFDM on Thu Oct 01, 2009 8:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Santino
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Re: If you could change 3 things about football today....

Post by Santino » Thu Oct 01, 2009 8:42 pm

a) Introduce a wage cap
b) As a result of a), lower prices of football right across the board, so the ordinary man can afford to attend regularly again
c) Diving punishable by death

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Geordie Quaker
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Re: If you could change 3 things about football today....

Post by Geordie Quaker » Thu Oct 01, 2009 8:43 pm

I forgot to mention that anyone who exceeds the 3 recommendations limit sees their post excluded from the roll of honour :D

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Re: If you could change 3 things about football today....

Post by Fetish_bob » Thu Oct 01, 2009 8:50 pm

1.Bring terracing back, I know Pools still have some but you can beat standing at all games

2.Goal kicks taken from the side it went out of, so goalkeepers cant waste time carrying it to the opposite side where they've not took it from during the rest of the game

3.Replay's in cup games especially early rounds of Coca Cola cup so little teams get chance of extra revenue, and do away with penalty shoot out's even after extra time so we go back to a 2nd/3rd replay. Those were the days
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Re: If you could change 3 things about football today....

Post by PDL23 » Thu Oct 01, 2009 8:53 pm

1) Ban womens football, the standard is getting better out field but whats the point when a female goalkeeper has never saved a shot ever! FACT!

2) Make all seater stadiums illegal and bring back terraces

3) Bring in alcohol blood tests for fans. If your not drunk your not allowed to watch Darlo! its for your own good!

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Re: If you could change 3 things about football today....

Post by TFDM » Thu Oct 01, 2009 8:55 pm

PDL23 wrote:3) Bring in alcohol blood tests for fans. If your not drunk your not allowed to watch Darlo! its for your own good!
I like this.

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Re: If you could change 3 things about football today....

Post by Child_in_Time » Thu Oct 01, 2009 10:01 pm

TFDM wrote:
PDL23 wrote:3) Bring in alcohol blood tests for fans. If your not drunk your not allowed to watch Darlo! its for your own good!
I asshumed this was already [hic!] one of the rools...

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Re: If you could change 3 things about football today....

Post by StevieMardenboro » Thu Oct 01, 2009 10:48 pm

Stop players having wanky ghost written autobiographies when they are about 23 or when they have just bombed hopelessly out of an international tournament and then feel the need to cash in on the experience.

Remove Alan Green, Garth Crooks and Steve Claridge from professional punditry

Ban players from appearing on MTV cribs or generally having houses the size of Shropshire.

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Re: If you could change 3 things about football today....

Post by Dales Quaker » Fri Oct 02, 2009 6:13 am

1) (An obvious one for Darlo) COMPENTENCE REQUIREMENTS FOR CLUB OWNERS, CHAIR PERSONS AND SENIOR BOARD MEMBERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :evil:

2) Do something about the stupid money some clubs spend on players wages just to avoid paying tax on the money. Try and find a way of getting the cash into the lower leagues.

3) Deal more effectively with players diving and play acting to con the ref.

Just as well we're only allowed three points, or some posts on this thread would be proper rants! :D

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Re: If you could change 3 things about football today....

Post by fat tony » Fri Oct 02, 2009 6:35 am

1- A fair distribution of the Greed League TV's money, reflecting the unique professional football pyramid system which supports the English game.

2 - The FA to grow a spine over club ownership and its 'fit and proper persons test'. Owners must submit a deposit to the FA along with a full business plan and see it through otherwise they face a severe financial penalty. A supporters group must retain a 33% voting place on every board. Crooks like Houghton should be hunted down and punished retrospectively with jail terms.

3 - Safe standing areas re-introduced.

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Re: If you could change 3 things about football today....

Post by Duffelcoatman » Fri Oct 02, 2009 7:24 am

1) Football authorities to have clear and consistent guidelines across all levels and enforce a robust fit and proper persons test for owners.
2) Stop all clubs playing stupid fucking music after a home team scores a goal. it is wanky and American and takes away from the art of wildly celebrating your teams goal (whatever one of those is!!).
3) Remove knee jerk reactions from the press / media / fans after a club loses one game (i.e. Man Utd at Burnley, Chelsea at Wigan, Bournemouth at Hereford). It isn't a crisis, it isn't a slump, there is no need to sack the manager, get new owners from Saudi or set an agry mob on John Terry. Actually scrap the last bit let's set an angry mob on 'JT'.
Bonus 4) Ban all pundits from using the words 'Great' and 'World Class' out of context. Maradona was 'Great'. Cruyff was World Class. Ronaldo is on the cusp. Kenwyne Jones is not.
Best stop now as I feel many a rant brewing......
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Re: If you could change 3 things about football today....

Post by quakerray » Fri Oct 02, 2009 8:44 am

heres one,make the goals a bit bigger so we may score a goal at some point.

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Re: If you could change 3 things about football today....

Post by al_quaker » Fri Oct 02, 2009 8:51 am

Get rid of sky - let the bbc/itv show the important matches, such as FA cup, champions league final, playoffs etc. It would cut down the number arm chair glory supporters, hopefully meaning more people actually support their local team.
Make diving punishable by something like a 5 match ban, and hopefully the authorities would uphold the bans they give out...
And shrink our stadium by about 15k.

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Re: If you could change 3 things about football today....

Post by ShrewsX » Fri Oct 02, 2009 9:57 am

1) Football Authorities to grow spines and actually enforce rules and punish clubs and players. None of this suspended fines/suspensions/appeals crap. If a player gets sent off, so be it.

2) removal of parachute payments. No club should be rewarded for being relegated. The parachute payment seems to exist only to improve the chances of an ex premiership club getting back in.

3) Minimum numbers of British players in squads. It would encourage English talent, and help lower league clubs, as potential players move up the leagues, meaning the money stays in the english league rather than goign abroad.
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Re: If you could change 3 things about football today....

Post by Lawman3 » Fri Oct 02, 2009 10:01 am

1. All teams must play with 2 Centre Forwards - one must be tall and dirty and good in the air, whilst the other one is short and nippy and "feeds off the big man".
2. All teams must have 2 recognised wingers, who can jink past players, go on mazy dribbles, and whip in inch-perfect crosses from the bye-line for the aforementioned "big man" striker to power a bullet header past the helpless keeper.
3. Goalkeepers must wear green. Except for Plymouth and Yeovil's keepers, who must wear yellow.

Will that do?
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Re: If you could change 3 things about football today....

Post by SuperQuaker » Fri Oct 02, 2009 10:14 am

1) Get rid of players agents. If you're a player you should negotiate your own salary, buy your own house, arrange your own transport and basically wipe your own arse like everyone else has to. 2) Introduce a maximum ticket price per division (e.g £35 premiership, £25 championship, £18 League one, £15 League two). 3) Every club without undersoil heating to be given a grant to install it by the FA, to reduce fixture congestion in the 2nd half of every season.
Everyone is entitled to my opinion!

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Re: If you could change 3 things about football today....

Post by divas » Fri Oct 02, 2009 10:44 am

macbooth wrote:1). Enforce the obstruction rule
2) Instant yellow card for shirt pulling
3) Penalty awarded against any defender who links arms or wrap his arms around an attacker at corner kicks. Corner kicks resemble a rugby scrum at present.
fuckin hell, the FA are already trying to make it a non contact sport - think this lot would just about finish it off!

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Re: If you could change 3 things about football today....

Post by divas » Fri Oct 02, 2009 10:57 am

introduce a cricket style appeal process for penalties - a penalty can not be given without an appeal - just like in cricket a wicket can not be given without an appeal

if the player brought down appeals for a penalty and the ref thinks he dived its an automatic yellow, if not he gets a penalty

if a player goes down but doesnt appeal then there's no card and no penalty

would put to bed cases like eduardo's tumble vs celtic.

---------------------

I also like the idea of the maximum ticket price in each division - altho would probably be impossible to implement for legal reasons, but it would certainly also help in driving down players salaries, as long as clubs weren't daft and made huge loans against the club - if the wage cap was handled correctly in tandem - i.e. money not allowed to be gifted to the club (altho there'd always be ways around it) and caps set on the last seasons average attendance at the maximum ticket price for the division we'd probably see lower division football return to a more realistic price - however it would cut away the premiership even further as the sky money means gate receipts arent as important.

-----------------------------

with the above in mind perhaps its time for a european super league to get rid of the top 10 premiership teams, restreucture the league with the possiblity of the bottom 2 leagues turning into north & south again

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Re: If you could change 3 things about football today....

Post by long_man » Fri Oct 02, 2009 11:00 am

1. Allow 2 footed challenges, but only if you get the ball.

2. In Extra Time - Off Side rule is removed, with no penaltys.

3. John Barnes should do all Sky Commentry...... (people would quikcly stop watching)

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Re: If you could change 3 things about football today....

Post by cameron-darlo » Fri Oct 02, 2009 11:05 am

1) anyone that dives in a match should be fined and banned (cheating bastards)

2) bring back terracing

3) and just for darlo- BAN THAT BIG DRUM FROM HOME GAMES!!! ITS s***!

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Re: If you could change 3 things about football today....

Post by bedaledarlo » Fri Oct 02, 2009 11:11 am

Quality thread.

1) Ban commentry. The only time you should hear a commentator is when there's a goal. That should be 'its a goal, 1-0 to Darlington' spoken in a BBC accent. This would put an end to the utter utter bollocks and constant babble that I'm sick of hearing e.g.
''I think there was contact there''
''He's every right to be angry there''
''It was a great ball but the striker just didn't read it''
Tossers. Premier league (usually Scottish) tossers.

2) 14 man squads. Bobby Robson used 18 players in his 9 years at Ispwich. For some reason managers like to 'rest' the best players. That pisses me off. Dont give them the option, 14 men full squad named and can play each game.

3) Drinking in plastic bottles in the stands. Darlo would double its match day revenue if you could have a drink while you watch. I would be cunted by half time, which is great.

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Re: If you could change 3 things about football today....

Post by Makka Pakka » Fri Oct 02, 2009 11:21 am

1. Officials must stop giving throw-ins when the ball just touches the line. (The ball has to be 2 feet over the line for them to give a goal though)

2. The definition of a foul must be the same regardless of the position on the pitch, e.g. "watching" the ball out of play for a goal kick - you couldn't get away with that on the half-way line. Or high kicking - always given in the centre circle, but not in the penalty area.

3. Players should be allowed to jump near a goalkeeper without a foul being given.
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Re: If you could change 3 things about football today....

Post by BUSHEAD » Fri Oct 02, 2009 11:24 am

Regionalised Leagues of say 10 teams , play each other twice (18 games) Then , wherever you finish in your group you play the teams which finished in the same place nationally (90 clubs gives 9 leagues of ten) ((Manure & Chelsea can join Euro Super League)).

Our regional ten teams

Us
Newcastle
Sunderland
Boro
Pools
Leeds
Doncaster
Rotherham
Sheffield Wed
Sheffield Utd


Some great fixtures to be had !

Bring back terracing.

Home grown quotas defo, if you werent born within 40 miles of the ground then you dont wear the shirt .
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Re: If you could change 3 things about football today....

Post by Duffelcoatman » Fri Oct 02, 2009 12:07 pm

bedaledarlo wrote:
3) Drinking in plastic bottles in the stands. Darlo would double its match day revenue if you could have a drink while you watch. I would be cunted by half time, which is great.
Best idea in years that. Would also make a change from you just being a c*** all the time !! :lol:
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Re: If you could change 3 things about football today....

Post by ShrewsX » Fri Oct 02, 2009 12:31 pm

BUSHEAD wrote:Regionalised Leagues of say 10 teams , play each other twice (18 games) Then , wherever you finish in your group you play the teams which finished in the same place nationally (90 clubs gives 9 leagues of ten) ((Manure & Chelsea can join Euro Super League)).

Our regional ten teams

Us
Newcastle
Sunderland
Boro
Pools
Leeds
Doncaster
Rotherham
Sheffield Wed
Sheffield Utd


Some great fixtures to be had !

Bring back terracing.

Home grown quotas defo, if you werent born within 40 miles of the ground then you dont wear the shirt .
Regional League would have to have Huddersfield, and Bradford in before the Sheffield Clubs I think. There would also be the problem that the "London" league would get all the publicity (Arsenal, Spurs, Chelsea etc) and then the Northwest one (Man Utd, Liverpool, etc). We'd still end up with 5mins on match of the day.

I like the homegrown players option, but I don't think that would work too well. All you need is a rule that a certain percentage of the matchday squad has to be British. It would mean the likes of Arsenal would have to scout at the likes of Leyton Orient rather than Lorient. Transfer money would then filter down through the leagues, whereas, at present it just disappears.
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Re: If you could change 3 things about football today....

Post by DL5 » Fri Oct 02, 2009 5:32 pm

Any players having a serious dust up on the pitch should face the same punishment as the rest of us would get if we booted off down town. I mean it's not as though it didn't happen or there's no witnesses :roll:

The ability for the 4th Official to review incidents within say 30 seconds, each team can get 3 challenges per game or if the ref asks for it to be done.

How about sin bins? this could link in with incidents being reviewed, deemed guilty he stays off, cleared and he's back on.
.

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