Top ten excuses for not going to the match

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theoriginalfatcat
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Top ten excuses for not going to the match

Post by theoriginalfatcat » Tue Nov 19, 2013 5:10 pm

1. I live more than 1 mile away from the new ground and can't drive.
Solution - get yourself to the Dolphin Centre where a supporters bus will take you to and from the game for a reasonable price.

2. I'm married, and live and work in Georgia.
Solution - get a new house/wife/+job.

3. I don't like lower league football.
Solution - give it a go. You're closer to the action and it's better than you think.

4. I used to own Darlington Football Club and controversially placed them into administration. After previously stating that the club had no debts, it then turned out that it did, to me (LOL) and on top of this, I then failed to hand over the footballing share which made the whole situation about as bad as it could possibly be. I'm a keen lover of football but I worry that if I go to a match someone will recognize me and poke me in the eye.
Solution - Best keep away or get involved with H.U.F.C.

5. I disagree with how the club is presently being run.
Solution - get involved. Join the C.I.C or give yourself a voice in some other way.

6. I enjoyed last season when we were "steamrollering" nearly every team in The Northern League, but this season just isn't the same.
Solution - GET REAL!! Contrary to what Non Brain Zone knownowts say, this league is tougher and we are now playing competitive football.

7. There are no chips in the chip van, and I like chips.
Solution - Chips are now on sale at the ground, if this doesn't placate you - get your chips at K.F.C.

8. I "Can't Be Arsed"
Solution - pick a nice Saturday and give it a go. You might enjoy it.

9. I used to own Darlington Football Club and controversially built a new 25000 seat stadium on the edge of town, naming it after myself. Things went wrong and time moved on, however I now find out that the trading estate named after me is going to be renamed and I feel a little down on my luck. I'm a keen lover of football but I worry that if I go to a match someone will recognize me and stamp on my foot.
Solution. No worries, get yourself to the big Ossett Town game.

10. I am a "Glory Hunter" I only turn out when Darlo go to Wembley or have a big cup game on.
Solution. :thumbdown:
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davidcorks 40yard OG
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Re: Top ten excuses for not going to the match

Post by davidcorks 40yard OG » Tue Nov 19, 2013 5:53 pm

How could you forget ...
11 I couldnt afford to go to wembley
Solution.. as my greek giro hadnt turned up fake own death and then sit back being smug until resurfacing a fortnight later to say it was all lies (irony) and someone was setting me up like the time it was all lies that i wasted everyones time in 2003 .... :D
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Re: Top ten excuses for not going to the match

Post by Bogratsteve » Tue Nov 19, 2013 7:43 pm

Bravo

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Re: Top ten excuses for not going to the match

Post by Gow9900 » Wed Nov 20, 2013 10:11 am

Some of the excuses you hear are really inventive.

It appears that supporting the club that represents your town/local area is an old fashioned notion and that football clubs these days are now fashion accessories. The idea of supporting a team that are 100/200 miles away, that you have no clear affiliation to and never go to see live is absurd to me, but that's the world we live in these days. Sitting in a boozer and buying a replica shirt makes a football supporter these days.

The amount of people you see walking round in Man Utd, Man City (i'd never even seen a Man City top in Darlington before 2008, except oviously when we played them in 98) Liverpool, Newcastle and even Barcelona/Real Madrid tops in town is scary. The Sky Sports Generation. Drives me mad but you you'll never remove the blinkers from the masses, they are utterly hypnotised by the Premier League and don't give a sh*t about their local team.

To be fair, for a town with a population of 100,000 +, our support has never been great, even when we were at the top end of Division 3/League 2.

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Re: Top ten excuses for not going to the match

Post by lo36789 » Wed Nov 20, 2013 11:07 am

Gow9900 wrote:To be fair, for a town with a population of 100,000 +, our support has never been great, even when we were at the top end of Division 3/League 2.
You think.

Weren't we getting around 5,000? I don't think getting 5% of a population to the match is all that bad really, maybe that's just me?

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Re: Top ten excuses for not going to the match

Post by Fatty eats roadkill » Wed Nov 20, 2013 12:28 pm

How many who go to the black and white lobotomised jocks up the road actually live in Newcastle? How many who go to old Trafford are from Manchester itself? I don't think our percentages are too bad!
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Re: Top ten excuses for not going to the match

Post by karlo-cardiff » Wed Nov 20, 2013 12:46 pm

I've got no real connection to darlington yet I've followed Darlo for over 30 years,the closest connection I've got is being born in catterick. I will admit I've not seen many games in last 10 years but that's due to living so far away in Cardiff but that doesn't make me any less of a fan than those who don't miss games.....it would be easy for me to jump on the Cardiff city band wagon but I've got no interest in them or any other prem league club.....

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Re: Top ten excuses for not going to the match

Post by Lawman3 » Wed Nov 20, 2013 1:09 pm

Not forgetting:
12. I'm a pensioner who attempted to cycle to the match on my vintage bike, that I lovingly call Merlin, but somehow cycled into a wall and ended up in Hospital.

That's my favourite.
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theoriginalfatcat
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Re: Top ten excuses for not going to the match

Post by theoriginalfatcat » Wed Nov 20, 2013 1:17 pm

Gow9900 wrote:It appears that supporting the club that represents your town/local area is an old fashioned notion and that football clubs these days are now fashion accessories. The idea of supporting a team that are 100/200 miles away, that you have no clear affiliation to and never go to see live is absurd to me, but that's the world we live in these days. Sitting in a boozer and buying a replica shirt makes a football supporter these days.
This is the one I missed. :clap:
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Re: Top ten excuses for not going to the match

Post by AndyPark » Wed Nov 20, 2013 1:31 pm

Lawman3 wrote:Not forgetting:
12. I'm a pensioner who attempted to cycle to the match on my vintage bike, that I lovingly call Merlin, but somehow cycled into a wall and ended up in Hospital.

That's my favourite.
I've haven't seen or heard from him since Lincoln..

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Re: Top ten excuses for not going to the match

Post by lo36789 » Wed Nov 20, 2013 1:38 pm

Gow9900 wrote:The amount of people you see walking round in Man Utd, Man City (i'd never even seen a Man City top in Darlington before 2008, except oviously when we played them in 98) Liverpool, Newcastle and even Barcelona/Real Madrid tops in town is scary. The Sky Sports Generation. Drives me mad but you you'll never remove the blinkers from the masses, they are utterly hypnotised by the Premier League and don't give a sh*t about their local team.
karlo-cardiff wrote:I've got no real connection to darlington yet I've followed Darlo for over 30 years,the closest connection I've got is being born in catterick. I will admit I've not seen many games in last 10 years but that's due to living so far away in Cardiff but that doesn't make me any less of a fan than those who don't miss games.....it would be easy for me to jump on the Cardiff city band wagon but I've got no interest in them or any other prem league club.....
To be fair I don't think his comments are particularly directed at residents of Darlington who are originally from Manchester, Liverpool or Spain.

I think they are directly at the people who have lived in Darlington their entire lives and subsequently have likely never seen a live football match before and have supported Chelsea, Manchester United and Manchester City over the past 10 years. Right now they are working out where they can pick up an Arsenal shirt for next season just in case...

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Re: Top ten excuses for not going to the match

Post by number_one » Wed Nov 20, 2013 5:52 pm

It's about choices though, I can agree with some of the sentiments towards these EPL armchair fans but that's their choice and they enjoy it, its almost a default of lower league fans to have a go at such fans, some even have a bit of a chip about their loyalties.

At the arena I often convinced EPL armchair fans to come along, usually to a bigger game (which we would always lose) and they would maybe come to a couple more before saying the footballs s***, the foods s***, the atmosphere is s***, I have to queue too long for a pint and am freezing, rather go to the red lion and watch man yoo...can't really blame them, if it's not their thing.

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Re: Top ten excuses for not going to the match

Post by Makka Pakka » Wed Nov 20, 2013 8:04 pm

A genuine one from the Arena days was because they flew a European Union flag outside.
"At a meeting held at the Grammar School on Friday last - Mr Phillip Wood M.A., in the chair - it was resolved to form an Association Football Club for Darlington and neighbourhood. The opinions of those present were so unanimous as to the desirability of this step, that a committee was formed to complete the organisation of the club, and Mr Craven, 17, Garden Street, was appointed secretary pro tem." - The Northern Echo, Monday 23rd July 1883

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Re: Top ten excuses for not going to the match

Post by Quakerz » Wed Nov 20, 2013 8:31 pm

number_one wrote:At the arena I often convinced EPL armchair fans to come along, usually to a bigger game (which we would always lose) and they would maybe come to a couple more before saying the footballs s***, the foods s***, the atmosphere is s***, I have to queue too long for a pint and am freezing
If only the secret Ron Greener clique had shared their secret...

Their selfishness caused us to lose hundreds of fans.

If only those lost fans knew what was kept from them. A warm log fire, toasties, quick service for your pint, space. Yet all hundreds of fans knew was bleak cold concrete, frozen toes, runny snot and a fucking mega queue for the bovril.
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Re: Top ten excuses for not going to the match

Post by AndyPark » Wed Nov 20, 2013 8:32 pm

Which forum member was it that never paid to get in there Quakerz? Wasn't it Darlo_Pete :lol:

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Re: Top ten excuses for not going to the match

Post by Quakerz » Wed Nov 20, 2013 8:38 pm

AndyPark wrote:Which forum member was it that never paid to get in there Quakerz? Wasn't it Darlo_Pete :lol:
I think so.

Anyway Andy, I'm on about before then. I'm on about when it was free for anybody to go in, except no c*** knew you could go in there at all.

The only ones that knew, and kept the knowledge to themselves, was the secret handshake, secret nudge nudge wink wink, follow me son, but don't tell your mates or your dad, club.

I can't believe I stood in that concourse for 4 sodding years, frozen to the spot with hundreds of others at half time, all oblivious to the "in club" upstairs.
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Re: Top ten excuses for not going to the match

Post by spen666 » Wed Nov 20, 2013 9:01 pm

Gow9900 wrote:Some of the excuses you hear are really inventive.

It appears that supporting the club that represents your town/local area is an old fashioned notion and that football clubs these days are now fashion accessories. The idea of supporting a team that are 100/200 miles away, that you have no clear affiliation to and never go to see live is absurd to me, but that's the world we live in these days. Sitting in a boozer and buying a replica shirt makes a football supporter these days.

The amount of people you see walking round in Man Utd, Man City (i'd never even seen a Man City top in Darlington before 2008, except oviously when we played them in 98) Liverpool, Newcastle and even Barcelona/Real Madrid tops in town is scary. The Sky Sports Generation. Drives me mad but you you'll never remove the blinkers from the masses, they are utterly hypnotised by the Premier League and don't give a sh*t about their local team.

To be fair, for a town with a population of 100,000 +, our support has never been great, even when we were at the top end of Division 3/League 2.

Leaving Darlo and the few other fan owned clubs aside, most professional clubs ( Conference & above definitely) are run as businesses by people who are there to make money. They don't give two hoots about local pride or local sensibilities as long as they are making money. (I give you Ken Bates, Chelsea and Leeds, but lives in Monaco, the FCB at Newcastle etc).

Is it any wonder that given the club wners has no loyalty to the fans or the area that fans no longer have loyalty to their local club.

Many clubs have no local players in their team. Apart from the location of the stadium, there is no connection between most clubs and the place it takes its name from.

Its a sad state of affairs, but in the professional game will only get worse

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Re: Top ten excuses for not going to the match

Post by theoriginalfatcat » Wed Nov 20, 2013 9:26 pm

spen666 wrote:most professional clubs ( Conference & above definitely) are run as businesses by people who are there to make money.
Not sure about this Spen as not many clubs make money. Gibson at M'bro chucks in a fortune each year, don't ask me why - and plenty of other clubs have their own benefactors/sugar daddies.

Though I agree that Ken Bates and people like him are appalling.
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Re: Top ten excuses for not going to the match

Post by spen666 » Wed Nov 20, 2013 10:12 pm

theoriginalfatcat wrote:
spen666 wrote:most professional clubs ( Conference & above definitely) are run as businesses by people who are there to make money.
Not sure about this Spen as not many clubs make money. Gibson at M'bro chucks in a fortune each year, don't ask me why - and plenty of other clubs have their own benefactors/sugar daddies.

Though I agree that Ken Bates and people like him are appalling.
Not sure re Gibson, he seems to be a good guy, but others pay themselves as employees huge sums of money and they personally profit even though the clubs they run lose huge sums. - look at career of Peter Ridsdale - Leeds, Barnsley, Cardiff and Portsmouth all in huge financial trouble after his involvement. He only stopped when he was banned from being a company director by the courts.

For those clubs with sugar daddies, I suspect some own club to launder their ill gotten games from criminal activities. Lets imagine a "former" safe cracker who earned a fortune under the cover of a worktop business.....
Other do it to boost their ego - in any event none of them have the LOCAL nature of the club at their heart

I don't like it any more than most, but as many clubs treat spectators as cash cows, why should fans show loyalty to an ideal that in many instances does not exist.

Its why I've returned to watching non league football where fans are treated with respect by the club

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