jokes or funny clips

A young Geordie lad moved to London and went to Harrods looking for a job. The manager asked "Do you have any sales experience?" The young man answered "Aye, hods, I was a canny salesman back in Newcastle." The manager liked the Geordie so he gave him the job. His first day on the job was challenging and busy, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the manager came down and asked "OK, so how many sales did you make today?" The Geordie said "Just the one, Marra." The manager groaned and continued "Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for?" £124,237.64" replied the Geordie. The manager choked and exclaimed "£124,237.64, what the hell did you sell him?" "Well, forst I selt him20a small fish hook, then a medium fish hook, and then I selt him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was gannin' fishing and he said doon at the coast, so I telt him he would need a boat, so we went doon tiv the boat department and I selt him that twin-engined Power Cat. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him doon tiv the car sales and I selt him the 4 x 4 Suzuki". The manager, incredulous, said "You mean to tell me....a guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and 4x4?" "Ner, nah......he came in heeya to buy a box of tampons for his ladyfriend and I said......... 'Well, since ya weekend's f**ked, you might as well gan fishing."

Post by **DFCAnth** » Wed Aug 05, 2009 4:38 pm

That's on a birthday card that joke! You thief

DARLO360 · Post by **DARLO360** » Wed Aug 05, 2009 8:39 pm

Here you go andy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26z-ufEq ... annel_page

Post by **loan_star** » Wed Aug 05, 2009 9:09 pm

Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties and local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman.

Many females use a date rape drug on the market called "Beer."
The drug is found in liquid form and is available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, or from taps and in large "kegs". Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and sleep with them. A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of Beer and then simply ask him home for no strings attached sex.

Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several beers, men will often succumb to the desires to sleep with horrific looking women to whom they would never normally be attracted.

After drinking beer, men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that "something bad" occurred. At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings, in a familiar scam known as "a relationship."

In extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer term form of servitude and punishment referred to as "marriage." Men are much more susceptible to this scam after beer is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females.

Please! Forward this warning to every male you know. If you fall victim to this "Beer" scam and the women administering it, there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter with similarly victimised men. For the support group nearest you, just look up "Golf Courses" in the phone book.

For a video to see how beer works click here: http://www.brackenspub.com/beer.swf

Darlo_Chris · Post by **Darlo_Chris** » Wed Aug 05, 2009 9:18 pm

A man is sh***ing his new girlfriend, when he notices a photo of another man on her bedside table.
He asks is that your ex? NO she replies
An old boyfriend? NO silly, she reploes.
Dad or brother? NO NO she answers

Well who the f**k is it? he demanded

She replied.... me 6 months ago

doc_64 · Post by **doc_64** » Thu Aug 06, 2009 1:41 am

loan_star wrote:Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties and local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman.

Many females use a date rape drug on the market called "Beer."
The drug is found in liquid form and is available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, or from taps and in large "kegs". Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and sleep with them. A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of Beer and then simply ask him home for no strings attached sex.

Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several beers, men will often succumb to the desires to sleep with horrific looking women to whom they would never normally be attracted.

After drinking beer, men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that "something bad" occurred. At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings, in a familiar scam known as "a relationship."

In extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer term form of servitude and punishment referred to as "marriage." Men are much more susceptible to this scam after beer is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females.

Please! Forward this warning to every male you know. If you fall victim to this "Beer" scam and the women administering it, there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter with similarly victimised men. For the support group nearest you, just look up "Golf Courses" in the phone book.

For a video to see how beer works click here: http://www.brackenspub.com/beer.swf

funny that clip loanstar, reminds me of a few nights out myself

Darlo Uncovered

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