Mission Impossible Fanzine

[princebishop]

Out of interest, what was the name of the bloke who was responsible for our Mission Impossible Fanzine?

[moodymonica]

Steve Harland was one of the lads

[princebishop]

I think that is the bloke, bald and bearded?
Does he still attend the matches?

[moodymonica]

Yep thats the one - havent seen Steve in ages, last time was one afternoon in Sainsburys about 10 years since

[comeondarlo]

Into Speedway I believe, very rarely watches Darlo nowadays.

[beatroute66]

Into Speedway I believe, very rarely watches Darlo nowadays.

Correct, but still lurks on here and pops up with some very good posts from time-to-time.

Another person the club managed to p*ss off via slack treatment back in the early 00's.

[broadsexile]

Into Speedway I believe, very rarely watches Darlo nowadays.

Correct, but still lurks on here and pops up with some very good posts from time-to-time.

Another person the club managed to p*ss off via slack treatment back in the early 00's.

We could seriously do with something like MI nowadays. Anyone willing to bear the standard? I'm too busy/ lazy...

[comeondarlo]

Into Speedway I believe, very rarely watches Darlo nowadays.

Correct, but still lurks on here and pops up with some very good posts from time-to-time.

Another person the club managed to p*ss off via slack treatment back in the early 00's.

We could seriously do with something like MI nowadays. Anyone willing to bear the standard? I'm too busy/ lazy...

I think this is the new MI, times move on

[shawry]

I think this is the new MI, times move on

While that may be true to some extent, I still think theres a market for something in the vein of MI, people like to have something in their hands, a bit like a programme I guess, and the web can certainly be used for helping with content, theres a few talented writers on here that could have an input

Without being funny, this is the sort of thing Andy Park should be trying to get up and running if he is serious about his sports journalism, and it could possibly help with improving his style

[broadsexile]

I think this is the new MI, times move on[/quote]

With all due respect to Uncovered, this is nothing like MI in terms of the angle it takes on things. A number of fanzines in the traditional style have made their way online, though - the Boston United is, I reckon, one of the best:

http://www.impstalk.co.uk/

We're missing something in that vein - something funny and cynical, and written by old-school football fans. Which is what MI was, particularly in the periods when they were laying into the board (Brockbank and Brealey came in for some particularly amusing treatment.)

[Comfortably_numb]

M.I. was a superb read - for me, back in the 80's / 90's I used to look forward to new editions of MI and Viz with equal anticipation it was that good.

However, I think the MI lads were worn down with the constant battle against the odd threat of legal action (I think), along with costs to print the mag. Plus when the mag started it was around the time we first went down. After successive promotions, things were pretty sweet, so less material to fill the mag with.

As someone said earlier in the thread, its loads cheaper using the web - no printing costs for starters, no farting about with money (collecting and then paying printers).

Plus......people have become so money focused these days - if people don't want to part with a few quid on a matchday programme, food, drink etc then not much hope people will pay a couple of quid for a fanzine....

[divas]

It could be done fairly easily online - maybe with the demise of Ray, Andrew & Scott writing for the matchday program it might be a plan to create an unofficial fanzine with them and some others off here submitting articles - id certainly be up for writing something once a quarter and could help out with the web publishing side of it.

Its just getting people to commit to producing something on a regular and timely basis that's the problem. Perhaps rather than getting a whole load of material together for a publish date each quarter people should just be invited/offer to write some material for this site - i know Scott was pretty keen on doing that when Uncovered relaunched away from Rivals.

[uncovered]

my idea for this website was/is to make it one run by darlo fans. Not just one run by me. There are alot of good sites out there but they are normally run by 3 or four people. If anybody ever wants to publish an article on here then there will never be a problem.

I don't really have the time or ideas at the moment to add anymore than I do. That is why extra people on board is needed. I will put the feelers out to see what we can do. I have done this in the past though and at the start people are like yeah, lets do this, but when push comes to shove it comes to nothing.

[shawry]

The problem with a website is that it is a 'living' entity, people dont want it to remain the same, they like to see it change, this makes it harder to keep a constant flow of good stuff, and it is also a little more difficult to get people to commit, or when they have committed, to actually finish stuff.

The good thing with publications, is that they have deadlines, and contributors know they need to submit for a set date.

I would think if the fanzine is done from a link from the home page, then the deadline could still be in place, with a set 'go live' date for each issue.

[loan_star]

Im sure I saw him at a game last season, or maybe the season before!

[marskequaker]

There's a time and a place for everything and Mission Impossible came about more by a sequence of events than anything pre-mediated. I was a big fan of the fanzine culture having frequented the Rock Garden in Middlesbrough during the punk era and various other music venues. Eventually fanzines became important in football particularly at Darlington's level. I had been a fan since John Robinson from Newton Aycliffe had persuaded a big group of us who went to Woodham Comprehensive back in 1975 including John Tucker (now a Sunderland hooligan!) and Len Docherty (he went in the army). Darlington beat Newport County 4-0 (Colin Sinclair scored a hat trick I think) and I was hooked immediately. I had been once before with my dad who was a big Boro fan (Darlo v Workington 1969 - I think Darlo won 6-2!). I went as often as money would allow between 1975 and 1981 and then lost interest mainly because I was basically homeless and struggling to keep a roof over my head. A chance conversation at Middlesbrough Speedway one night with a lad in 1984 sparked my interest again. He was a fan but couldn't go every match, we agreed against I think Bristol City in the old Third Division (Cyril Knowles was still in charge) and I'm sure Alan Walsh was playing for them but my abiding memory of that game was former Leeds forward Joe Jodan falling over anytime someone breathed on him! I couldn't go to every match but saw a few between 1984 and 1987, beating my dad's team Boro in the FA Cup will always be a highlight, particularly poignant as he died the following year.

Then as if by magic I returned, god knows why, in 1987/8 for a third helping. DAve Ovens was the first editor of MI, he was a teacher and he produced the first six or so issues and then the lovely Steve Raine (donkey jacket, smoking rollies, The Guardian under his arm and the only one of us with a degree in Politics) eventually took over and became the scourge of the establishment (very much in the Private Eye/Viz style). Steve's reign in charge included being physically threatened by Ian Botham OBE for saying it actually stood for 'Overpaid Bag of Excrement', I actually thought that was accurate but Botham failed to see the funny side! We also received solictors letters on a fairly regular basis, so we knew we were doing something right! In one we were forced in to apologising to Steve Morgon but in the next issue we apologised for apologising to him. Once again he failed to see the humour. Another classic MI moment was when then manager Billy McEwan had a bust-up with Kevan Smith at Carlisle and Steve printed an interview of the alleged fracas - Andy Toman came into the Cricket Club the following week and said where the hell were you lot when that was going on because that was what was actually said during the conversation!!

After a terrific six years in charge Steve eventually stood down and I took over for the last 2/3 seasons. At one point we were selling between 900/1,100 copies an issue on average gates of around 2,500/3,000 which is a hell of a ratio. Sales tended to be higher when the club was struggling, which was to be fair most of the time the fanzine was in circulation. There were others who contributed regularly like Dave Sowerby, Alan Anderson, Robin Coulthard, Gavin Ellis, Neal Johnson and The mysterious Grand Wazoo. I guess at the time there was a cutting edge to it but it got to a stage where we had plenty of folk wanting to write but not enough wanting to help sell it on match days and it was becoming a full time job that didn't pay a full time wage.

We always sponsored a players kit every season and never advocated stop coming to matches - why would we, we wanted the team to be successful. even if it meant taking the piss! Personal highlights included being physically threatened a former director of operations and being banned from Feethams for selling a fanzine that the club hierarchy didn't approve of. During that era Reg Brealey tried every trick in the book to get us taken out of circulation - including legally, which cost us a lot of money.

I stopped going in 2001 as I had a spell out of work and almost lost my home. I spent the next 18 months working including weekends and no time for going to Feethams. After two years out of the equation I accepted an invitation to put together a junior speedway team based out of Middlesbrough but actually running home meetings at Hull Kingston Rovers rugby league ground. I've always been a speedway fan and the next three years we spent two seasons racing at Hull, once every 4/6 weeks and then relocated to Newcastle in 2005. We were often on the road travelling to exotic locations like Belle Vue, Buxton, King's Lynn, Scunthorpe & Workington. It was my job to find the funding to pay for it to happen. When speedway returned to Teesside at South Tees Motorsports Park in April 2006 I was involved with setting the junior team up and we were together for three years before the decision was made to pull the plug on the team by the new owners. Since then I am now involved in the commercial side, running the sponsorship and hospitality - basically raising funding to help the club.

I live in Marske now and love it here but work for Redcar & Cleveland Council as a community protection officer (so I became part of the establishment that I despised!) covering East Cleveland and I have to work two weekends out of four. I also put bands on (Rock Garden Reunion and Punishment of Luxury at the Georgian THeatre in Stockton anyone?) which is something I always wanted to do.

I don't really have the time for anything else as I'm married now and have to consider someone else. I've been to the new ground twice (a 5-0 defeat against Carlisle and a 1-0 win against Wycombe) but like so many the constant legal battles with the club and loss of identity with the move from Feethams I have no real enthusiasm for the new stadium. I still have friends who go - one, a former director of the club, is a season ticket holder at the speedway and I keep in touch with Doug Embleton and Ted Blair. Since I stopped going, sadly Steve Raine and The Grand Wazoo no longer go either and I've bumped into more people who used to go than those that don't - I have no idea how the club addresses that issue but it seems the recent decision to make several club stalwarts redundant for programme copy the club never learns and then wonders why it can't get enough support through the gate.

We were all minority shareholders in the club until the ill-fated Reynolds takeover when club accounting became a thing of the past. I am hoping to attend some matches next season with my old mate Mozzer but everything depends on work and speedway commitments.

My advice if your going to start a new fanzine - you have to be completely dedicated otherwise it won't work. We did it for ten years and it was often a struggle because often no-one wanted to sell it an hour before kick-off! You will need more than blind faith to make it a success but good luck if you try, I'll be the first to read a copy. If anything, Daniel King should bring back 'Where's The Money Gone?', now that was funny!

Regards


Steve

[Quakerz]

It is such a shame to hear of so many club stalwarts that simply no longer go.

It'd be great if you and some of your equally disassociated mates started attending again, even on a part time basis.

There are so many lapsed supporters it is unreal.

[divas]

It is such a shame to hear of so many club stalwarts that simply no longer go.

It'd be great if you and some of your equally disassociated mates started attending again, even on a part time basis.

There are so many lapsed supporters it is unreal.

I guess it must be the case for all clubs, especially at this level or you'd see crowds increase year on year with the introduction of new blood. There's always going to be a natural attrition due to people circumstances changing. I'd say numbers wise for an average game we'll be no worse or no better off next season than we were 20-30 years ago.

[Hilly]

'Wheres The Money Gone?' was more my era (I even wrote a few articles for it over the years). It seems quite the done thing for Fanzine Editors to be banned from going to matches and eventually stop going because it happened to Dave MacLean (Dan King's successor).

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/2746531.stm

[moodymonica]

Great post Steve and I am glad everything is working out well for you and the missus.

They were so great times and MI was one of the attractions it mostly crappy times watching the club. Brings back great memories, I can also remember the day you lot had to stand outside the Twin Towers as you werent allowed to sell them just inside the ground. Few beers after the game!!

[Magical Quakers]

Yes glad to hear you're enjoying life Steve.

I had the pleasure to have quite a few articles and reports published in MI and thoroughly enjoyed reading some very funny stuff. It was usually the highlight of the match picking up a new copy before kick-off.

Hmmm might just have to dig out the old copies from the loft and have a read tonight!

Happy days

Karl

[marskequaker]

Scott's post is spot on - at the start everyone is dead enthusiastic and then when results go the other way and people stop contributing it makes it harder for those that remain to keep the standard up. We did it for ten years and were fortunate that we had a real mixture of contributors - at one point we had five teachers writing under assumed names! There was always a core of at least 4/5 stalwarts and we kept each other going when it got really grim at Feethams, and sometimes even grimmer than grim! I can remember often sitting up with Steve Raine in a printers in Middlesbrough sometimes till 1/2 am making sure the fanzine was ready for 3pm that day. We did that for about four seasons in a row. We even used to attend reserve matches during the week because we were that keen. One of the lads was a stamp collector so all the subscribers (we had over 180 at one point) would receive their copies hot off the press with about a three dozen stamps from around the world on the envelopes. Sportspages in London used to take 60 copies of each issue (Karl Alexander often used to drop 'em off for us). Sales averaged 800/850 over the ten years we produced 70-odd issues. I still have every single one of them in the garage.

[Jazz Maverick]

Mission Imposible was awesome like. I was pretty young when it was about, so didnt 'get' a lot of the humour and wind ups etc, but remember loving reading it waiting for games to kick off. I have a particularly clear memory of my Dad (an exeter city fan) reading it when he took me to a game once, and muttering 'northern bastards' and shaking his head, as in this particular issue they were ripping the piss out of the hair styles sported by certain City players. Weird that I remember that actually!

[marskequaker]

I wish you lot could have been there the night former Chief Executive Tom Hughes offered to take me outside of a meeting with club officials. Darlington were vying with Northampton for bottom spot in the old Fourth Divison around 1994/5. Steve Raine asked Tom if there was any contingency plan if Darlo were to be relegated a second time and Tom said no. I then asked Tom if he was going for the treble: bankruptcy with Middlesbrough; re-election at York City and relegation from the Football League with Darlington - he suddenly lost his cool and offered to take me outside to discuss the matter further. The late John Brockbank (chairman) had to calm him down!!

[Makka Pakka]

Was it after that you started a "campaign" questioning Hughes's role and his 50k salary? (a lot of money then)

Still remember the re-written Status Quo - Man Utd lyrics ending with "we'll maintain the status quo, we pay the chief exec too much dough"

[swindon_darlo]

The logistics that were in place were pretty impressive. I remember being at Teesside Poly when MI was at its peak. I could buy a copy in a football programme/comic shop that was on Linthorpe Road in M'bro.

[darlobhoy]

Genuinely feel that the Mission Impossible team helped a lot of fans stay connected to the club and feel part of something as we faced relegation to the Conference for the first time.

Pre-internet age they also gave us an insight into some of the s#it going on at the club.

I feel we owe MI a debt of gratitude to the MI lads. Would be happy to contribute if anyone fancy's enticing them back to the new ground with a corporate box for the day.

[don'tbuythesun]

Does the board stop you logging in when you've been inactive-been trying to get back on and the e mail for Scott doesn't work? I met Steve Harland on numerous occasions, always had time to stop and chat and usualy I ended up helping to flog fanzines! Those of you who live by the internet won't understand how he and the other Mission Impossible people kept us in touch. Living in Liverpool I couldn't wait for this to arrive-it was fun, full of useful info and fought our corner. Somewhere lurking in a drawer are Mission Impossible and I think a "Brearley Out" button badge! Anyway it's good to hear you're alive and well........

[StevieMardenboro]

As an exiled Darlo fan from the age of 10-11 when my family moved away from the town, Mission Impossible was fantastic. Nowadays you can spend hours reading about the team on line but back in the early 90s it was my only source of Darlo news and it was one of the highlights of the month when it arrived.

It was also brilliantly written and very funny.

While this website is great and very well put together, it is, like any internet forum I suppose, full of threads with people gobbing off or having spats about meaningless shite (like the Roll of Honour ones which I always read through even though I know it is going to be a spirit crushing waste of time!)

It would be great if something like Mission Impossible could be recreated or if this site had a section where in depth features and articles could feature alongside the rolling news. (One feature I loved in MI was when they did a month by month in depth review of a season gone by.)

This is in no way a criticism of Scott or anyone else involved in Darlo Uncovered who do a great job.

[divas]

If anyone at all would like to write an article and submit it i'm sure Scott would be more than happy to post it. I do have a few i'd like to do myself but just haven't gotten round to it - sadly no one seems to have any time these days!