Love Rocket Uncovered

by Scott Thornberry - 29th April 2010

love rocket uncovered

Most Darlo fans will know Nick Woodward, if you don't know him to talk to you will have no doubt seen him at the Darlo matches.  Darlo Uncovered caught up with the Uncovered FC goalkeeper to ask him a few questions as his life does seem to be rather bizarre at times.

Currently out of action on the football pitch due to a broken collar bone, and out of action in the bedroom due to a lack of a bone, the love rocket follows Darlington home and away every season.  This season though in particular has been hard for the unshaven weeble but it has not stopped him from heading to nearly every game, infact the only game he has missed this season is Torquay away and that was beause the supporters club coach was cancelled.

So what makes this lad thick, I mean tick?  Is it the hundreds of units of alcohol he consumes per week, or is it all the lovely ladies he meets up with at the weekend.  The man who has met more lesbians than I have had dinners tells us all.

Explaining how he came to follow Darlo he said "My step dad took me to a few games when i was really young, but the ones i remember are from 1995/1996 season, Leeds away in coca cola cup & Hereford at home in the play-offs. (my memory is terrible now a days due to years of alchol abuse)."
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"Then when he stopped going i missed a few seasons so i started playing footy on a Saturday afternoons until i started going with my mates from School for the 1999/2000 season."

"I've not missed a home game in about 10 years, the last home game i missed was against Blackpool I think & that was due to the reason i was skint & we were doing so poor under Gary Bennett at the time, so me & my school mates decided to play footy instead of going. The last away game i missed was Torquay away this season due to no supporters bus running prior to that i hadn't missed a away game for over 8 years."

Over the years Nick has unfortnately not had much to celebrate, be it in the following of Darlington or action in his bedroom.  "My best memories are the play-offs againts the scum aka Hartlepool, me & my mates couldn't get tickets for the 1st leg at there place so we watched it on the big screen at Feethams & it was a cracking atmosphere & i remember everyone going mental when Lidds scored that cracker with a great finish."
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"Also 2nd leg at Feethams & Gary Strodder with that beaut og, it wasn't a great game what a remember of it but the job had been done a few days earlier at there place, but the atmosphere before during after the game was awesome. My two worst memories are getting beat by Peterborough in the play-off finals on that horrible wet Friday night at Wembley. To this day I still can't believe we lost as we battered them for the whole game. I nearly didn't make the game as my step dad has lost his job & was on the dole so My Mam wouldn't let me go on my own so there was lots of agruments at the time, but we managed to agree a compromise which I believe is I had to pay for my own travel & ticket out my savings, i also believe i had to pay for my step dads ticket though I could be wrong"
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"My 2nd worst memory which was getting beat 4-1 at victoria park by the scum, just a horrible day all round & I will never forget Tommy Taylor saying prior to the game its just another game which it wasn't & that pathetic performance still haunts me to this day."
Nick meets up with his good friend Tommy Wright at the weekend
 
Having travelled all around the country Nick explains "I've been to many grounds over the years following Darlo but my favourite has to be Spotland as its a cracking little ground with a great pub called The Church right next to the ground & not forgeting the fish & chip shop which I know gets mentioned on the message board when we play Rochdale. God am gonna missed that place."
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For those who have spoken to Nick, or been in the fortunate position of being stuck with him in an enclosed area, you will know that the action he see's away from football is quite impressive.   But just how does he do it? "Its no secret when you're as good looking as me with a fine athletic physique & well toned body the ladies just can't help themselves around me."
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"Nope seriously I just don't aim for any type of lass I just take what i can get, I however do regret that 99.9% of the times after the alchol has wore off. However my xbox is starting to take over my life at the moment & I'm safe with my xbox as she will never dump me or cheat on me."
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"A gay bloke tried to chat me up once which i wasn't happy with so i kicked off & was asked to leave the pub. Also me & mate may have had a threesome with a lass before."
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So back to the football then Nick (sweet jesus!), "Favourite player Andy Collett just a excellent goalkeeper & his peformance at feethams against the scum was worldclass best keeper performance I've ever seen (apart from my good self against RC Lens at Worldnet last year for Uncovered FC). Worst player is a hard one as we've had some shite over the years so I can't think of only one at this moment in time."
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Comments

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ted_do - 29th April 2010 09:34:34

:D LOL I love it, top story Nickola.

Dn1 - 29th April 2010 11:26:41

:lol: Made my day!!!

Dn1

alleztfc - 29th April 2010 20:59:35

So how does the cock-socket feel about the 'scum' he refers to flying 2 (two) divisions above his non-league shower of cack? :oops: :oops: :oops:

Breedon - 29th April 2010 21:41:46

alleztfc wrote:So how does the cock-socket feel about the 'scum' he refers to flying 2 (two) divisions above his non-league shower of cack? :oops: :oops: :oops:
All of the mockable quotes in that interview and thats the best you can do? Much like our team this season, you're crack is truly s*** mate! :thumbdown:

alleztfc - 30th April 2010 11:46:42

If you can't see the howling irony of a BSP supporter berating a League 1 club, Tom, you may find it useful to examine your own 'crack.' :shock:

On second thoughts...

It's actually 'your' and 'craic' btw.
Hope this is of some assistance.

Hilly - 30th April 2010 13:04:07

alleztfc wrote:If you can't see the howling irony of a BSP supporter berating a League 1 club, Tom, you may find it useful to examine your own 'crack.' :shock:

On second thoughts...

It's actually 'your' and 'craic' btw.
Hope this is of some assistance.
And you've never slated a team higher than League 1 have you?

alleztfc - 30th April 2010 17:39:13

Heck no! ;)

Unless you count 'Boro when we kept them in business back in 1986. 8-)

Breedon - 30th April 2010 19:15:56

alleztfc wrote:If you can't see the howling irony of a BSP supporter berating a League 1 club, Tom, you may find it useful to examine your own 'crack.' :shock:

On second thoughts...

It's actually 'your' and 'craic' btw.
Hope this is of some assistance.
There is no irony in it. There would be irony if he was berating your teams footballing ability...he didn't, he simply implied that you are all a set of c****.

Thanks for the english tips, but you're still boring! :thumbup:

alleztfc - 30th April 2010 21:09:50

...and you are OUT of the League. :silent:

That will be game, set and match. MIND IT!

Hilly - 30th April 2010 21:23:57

alleztfc wrote:...and you are OUT of the League. :silent:

That will be game, set and match. MIND IT!
Get some new material will you?

alleztfc - 1st May 2010 08:46:31

Mmmm.

No new material needed. Darlo have been serving it up in shovels from the first kick of the season. Even the most vindictive person would have struggled to script a more abject season of torture and failure for you lot this season.

I know you must be in a dark place right now, but embrace the reality of being a non-league club, and you may just get used to it. Big fish, small pond etc.

You should be comfortable mid-table next season, so just look to consolidate. :eh:

Hilly - 1st May 2010 09:47:36

alleztfc wrote:Mmmm.

No new material needed. Darlo have been serving it up in shovels from the first kick of the season. Even the most vindictive person would have struggled to script a more abject season of torture and failure for you lot this season.

I know you must be in a dark place right now, but embrace the reality of being a non-league club, and you may just get used to it. Big fish, small pond etc.

You should be comfortable mid-table next season, so just look to consolidate. :eh:
It's hard for you to take the piss when most of us had already 'embraced' that we were going to be relegated before Christmas. Like I say - get some new material.

Al Sharp - 1st May 2010 17:44:35

alleztfc wrote:
It's actually... 'craic' btw.
Hope this is of some assistance.
It's 'craic', if you're Irish you knob.

Probably a Celtic fan to boot. Come to think of it I always wondered if the mass influx of Irish immigrants back in the day is the reason why you "wherh's me pehrple shert" Teessiders and Scousers have almost exactly the same accent.

alleztfc - 1st May 2010 18:15:02

Welcome to the world of 'wrong again' me old China. :silent:

Neither a Teessider nor a scouser. Not a Celtic fan either.

But apart from that, bang on the money! :thumbup: