Love Rocket Uncovered
by Scott Thornberry - 29th April 2010
Most Darlo fans will know Nick Woodward, if you don't know him to talk to you will have no doubt seen him at the Darlo matches. Darlo Uncovered caught up with the Uncovered FC goalkeeper to ask him a few questions as his life does seem to be rather bizarre at times.
Currently out of action on the football pitch due to a broken collar bone, and out of action in the bedroom due to a lack of a bone, the love rocket follows Darlington home and away every season. This season though in particular has been hard for the unshaven weeble but it has not stopped him from heading to nearly every game, infact the only game he has missed this season is Torquay away and that was beause the supporters club coach was cancelled.
So what makes this lad thick, I mean tick? Is it the hundreds of units of alcohol he consumes per week, or is it all the lovely ladies he meets up with at the weekend. The man who has met more lesbians than I have had dinners tells us all.
"I've not missed a home game in about 10 years, the last home game i missed was against Blackpool I think & that was due to the reason i was skint & we were doing so poor under Gary Bennett at the time, so me & my school mates decided to play footy instead of going. The last away game i missed was Torquay away this season due to no supporters bus running prior to that i hadn't missed a away game for over 8 years."
Comments
Dn1 - 29th April 2010 11:26:41
Made my day!!!Dn1
alleztfc - 29th April 2010 20:59:35
So how does the cock-socket feel about the 'scum' he refers to flying 2 (two) divisions above his non-league shower of cack?Breedon - 29th April 2010 21:41:46
All of the mockable quotes in that interview and thats the best you can do? Much like our team this season, you're crack is truly s*** mate!alleztfc wrote:So how does the cock-socket feel about the 'scum' he refers to flying 2 (two) divisions above his non-league shower of cack?
alleztfc - 30th April 2010 11:46:42
If you can't see the howling irony of a BSP supporter berating a League 1 club, Tom, you may find it useful to examine your own 'crack.'On second thoughts...
It's actually 'your' and 'craic' btw.
Hope this is of some assistance.
Hilly - 30th April 2010 13:04:07
And you've never slated a team higher than League 1 have you?alleztfc wrote:If you can't see the howling irony of a BSP supporter berating a League 1 club, Tom, you may find it useful to examine your own 'crack.'
On second thoughts...
It's actually 'your' and 'craic' btw.
Hope this is of some assistance.
alleztfc - 30th April 2010 17:39:13
Heck no!Unless you count 'Boro when we kept them in business back in 1986.
Breedon - 30th April 2010 19:15:56
There is no irony in it. There would be irony if he was berating your teams footballing ability...he didn't, he simply implied that you are all a set of c****.alleztfc wrote:If you can't see the howling irony of a BSP supporter berating a League 1 club, Tom, you may find it useful to examine your own 'crack.'
On second thoughts...
It's actually 'your' and 'craic' btw.
Hope this is of some assistance.
Thanks for the english tips, but you're still boring!
alleztfc - 30th April 2010 21:09:50
...and you are OUT of the League.That will be game, set and match. MIND IT!
Hilly - 30th April 2010 21:23:57
Get some new material will you?alleztfc wrote:...and you are OUT of the League.
That will be game, set and match. MIND IT!
alleztfc - 1st May 2010 08:46:31
Mmmm.No new material needed. Darlo have been serving it up in shovels from the first kick of the season. Even the most vindictive person would have struggled to script a more abject season of torture and failure for you lot this season.
I know you must be in a dark place right now, but embrace the reality of being a non-league club, and you may just get used to it. Big fish, small pond etc.
You should be comfortable mid-table next season, so just look to consolidate.
Hilly - 1st May 2010 09:47:36
It's hard for you to take the piss when most of us had already 'embraced' that we were going to be relegated before Christmas. Like I say - get some new material.alleztfc wrote:Mmmm.
No new material needed. Darlo have been serving it up in shovels from the first kick of the season. Even the most vindictive person would have struggled to script a more abject season of torture and failure for you lot this season.
I know you must be in a dark place right now, but embrace the reality of being a non-league club, and you may just get used to it. Big fish, small pond etc.
You should be comfortable mid-table next season, so just look to consolidate.
Al Sharp - 1st May 2010 17:44:35
It's 'craic', if you're Irish you knob.alleztfc wrote:
It's actually... 'craic' btw.
Hope this is of some assistance.
Probably a Celtic fan to boot. Come to think of it I always wondered if the mass influx of Irish immigrants back in the day is the reason why you "wherh's me pehrple shert" Teessiders and Scousers have almost exactly the same accent.
alleztfc - 1st May 2010 18:15:02
Welcome to the world of 'wrong again' me old China.Neither a Teessider nor a scouser. Not a Celtic fan either.
But apart from that, bang on the money!
ted_do - 29th April 2010 09:34:34
LOL I love it, top story Nickola.